In Excile

Fooling all as I begat from the mother of lies, master at my deception until all collapses without forewarning.
Sinking so far I'm incapable of identifying normality again, yet desire courses through my veins like acid scorching what was once living.
Is it pain keeping me alive? No. It's a cruel joke that forces air into my lungs. A reflex that ought to be unnatural to the body, nonetheless alien to the mind delivering me into wickedness.
Or is this my descendent into madness? No answers for questions lost on deaf ears. My voice is silenced by my persuasion.
Attitude runs amuck then I'm chastised for it, saddened by consequence. Left with nothing, residing in isolation.
It hurts. The loneliness I'm exiled to, not understanding the why's. Still, here I am to dwell in solitude.
Again, antics flow like water and no one is wiser of the difference. As if anyone aspires as long as I have.
At hand lies the problem. Full refusal of all regulation as I wish not to be controlled, but long for love. Someone must exist whose up for the task. Thus far, paralyzed by fear because there is no such character.
And there it is. Simplicity at its best. Love won't intervene as I am no longer worthy of its possession.
Perhaps the amount acquired was my limit. Left broken with no hope of repair and not deserving of such.
Persecuted and bound in emptiness. Stranded in a moment of time, reaching for help with not another soul created for my salvation.
Trudging on while continuing to suffer since the better part of me died long ago leaving me forlorn with only bittersweet memories.

Contending to never surrender

In a world with so much chaos, can one obtain serenity? Having seen and heard the evil of all evils, then becoming powerless in its grasp. In earnest I stumble as I look for answers from questions that come out of nowhere while no one seems to care.
Begging for help, as I fall on my knees hoping there is mercy to be bestowed upon my readiness. There must be a way to restore the good that once graced this reality with a kind nature and encouraging ways. I refuse to believe that it is lost forever, as forever does not exist.

The essence of the human spirit is to prevail and continue on even when all is lost. But what to do when one is over come with sadness and is hard pressed up against the fervent brick wall that will not falter, even in the slightest? It traps you with its invisible hand as it paralyzes a person and tricks their mind into believing there is no alternative but the inevitable.

Woe after woe fills the air with its wretched affliction as evil persist and troubles anyone in its path. Like a tornado, it consumes and destroys leaving only the bad with little faith of the good. Presenting a false hope that humanity will band together to create a better world. In the event of such times, hope will not come about as it has been forgotten during the reconstruction of which will only be shadow of what once was.

What to do? What to do? A question in limbo that may never receive its well deserved answer. So I leave you with this my friend;
As evil consumes your very existence, are you throwing all down in defeat to go along with the crowd? Or, have you the courage to stand up and fight against the immoral atrocities that have taken possession of our very being.
Of course the world will heave you into its disposable pile, even if victory has landed in your lap. Does this pose a conundrum? I think not for the simple reason that your conscience will be clear because you’ve done your best to set things right.

No more should've, would've, could'ves

We all have heard, “Live life with no regrets.” How many of us take it seriously until it’s too late? Lately I have read several blogs and one in particular has caught my attention more than most. It’s on Facebook (The Breast Cancer Site or www.thebreastcancersite.com) with postings about breast cancer and those the disease affects. There are stories of patients, survivors, friends, and family on the site that will touch your heart.

The stories are about women and their battle for survival as their lives have become a rollercoaster of events. Reading these stories I’ve notice that there is a repeating theme in a good number of them; Regret(s).  Yes, as in those pesky little choices made in life that compels a person to wish they had done it differently.

The good news is that it's not too late to start enjoying your life and literally live with no more regrets. As usual, it’s not an easy process and requires that you reevaluate your priorities. Americans have an issue with this because we have been taught from birth to work ourselves to death. You need to find the courage to break free from whatever is restraining you. As Nike says, “Just do it!”

Start changing things today. Here are a few ideas:

1)      Maintain your friendships. Keeping in touch with those closest to you will not only help keep you in the loop, they add a great support system for the times when life is not so kind. Most cancer survivors state that they couldn’t have done it without the support of their friends and family. (Notice how friends are first?) Now go build some lifelong relationships.

2)      SPEND MORE QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN! Go to that soccer game, or dance recital and stop with the excuses. These are the people who will be in charge one day, so raise them to become responsible and caring adults. Don’t depend on the television or internet to raise your kids. Remember someday they will either take you in and care for you or put you in a home and try to visit every third Sunday.

3)      Travel more often. You don’t have to go to an exotic place, just go out and have fun somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. If you have to pack the kids in the car, then do it. (Hey there’s some quality time!)

4)      Start a bucket list and get to it. No matter what it is; skydiving, deep-sea fishing, or learning how to paint. It's not necessary to have the list completed, but ultimately some things should be crossed off of it.

Again, no more excuses, no one wants to hear them anyways. Aren’t you ready to live your life? In the end it matters not that you didn’t lose those ten pounds in 2011 or that you failed to get 600 friends on Facebook or Twitter.  Lying on their death-bed most confess that they worked too hard and missed too much, disappointed that they didn’t make time for their children or spent more time seeing and appreciating the world. 

When your time comes the last thing one should mull over is the “what if’s.” Immediately attempt to improve your life while you still have the time to do so.

How to resolve conflict

Is your day spent in complete chaos and are you up to your elbows in, well, work? You plug away doing your job while being forced into acting like a complete nincompoop giving in to ridiculous demands when all you really want to say is, “are you kidding me, in your dreams,” or “no freaking way.” Daydreaming of how incredibly awesome it would be to spew these derogatory remarks all over one person to the next. Okay, not really. Hopefully your mother raised you better than that and if not, maybe yoga/meditation class to find your happy place?

Honestly, loss of empathy for others can make for a miserable life. If you lose the ability to connect with others, you lose the ability to deal with the inconsistencies that inevitably occur. Maintaining composure and recovering quickly after a conflict can benefit not only your state of mind, it can benefit your health.

Resolving conflict is a skill that most people fail to learn. Most of us use past experiences and use the fight or flight approach in the heat of battle. However, once you gain theses skill sets you will use them as a constructive tool, vastly improving your relationships not only at work but your personal life as well.  

At first a person may have to revert to a childlike state and use the greatest gift given to humanity; the gift of pretend. That’s right, pretend you are happy. Sounds too simple does it not? Putting a smile on that face of yours has been proven to improve your mood and wellbeing. After you master the art of pretend, the real work begins.

Life is full of conflict, but we do have choices:

1)      Own our reactions, or throw a temper tantrum.
2)      State your emotions, or leave them guessing why you’re upset.
3)      Take accountability for your feelings, or play the blame game.

Rules of engagement:

1)      One person speaks at a time, and speak only for yourself. (I feel, I think, I believe)
2)      Avoid implying you know how others feel. (You feel, You think, You believe)
3)      Communicate what is really bothering you.
4)      When interactions are no longer productive, take a break.

As you are trying to sort out your differences with someone, it’s important to remember that you must confirm what you think heard before reacting and be accountable for your own actions. Also, take a moment to notice how you are about to react. Just a few seconds will grant you the self-control to put off judgments that you would not normally make.

Of course there’s always that split second when the little devil on your shoulder gets the best of you and before you know it, your auto reacting. It’s often not a good thing to auto react as it usually escalates the conflict.

Even if you are the greatest people person of all time, there are those days that will send you over the proverbial edge and you will use that potty mouth of yours. And it’s okay that you did so, appologize and move on. Just don’t make a habit out of it. 

Wait a minute…I need to put on my “Gosh I really care” face

The stress of the holidays and family obligations can be downright brutal with all of the parties, shopping, work, and home responsibilities. Eventually something has to give and hopefully it’s not your sanity. All the chaos can make a person tense and hard to deal with putting a strain on anyone who interacts with them.

As hard as it may seem, forcing a smile and pretending you are happy can make the season easier to get through. According to a Harvard study, pretending you're happier than you really are has positive benefits. Exhibiting pleasant emotions will grant others to react more favorably towards you and in turn may actually change your mood for the better. Besides, no one really wants to listen to you go on about how you were stuck in traffic for forty-five minutes, then spilt coffee on your favorite shirt, and hit your head getting into your car. We all have been there, and no one wants a play-by-play of your bad morning.

When someone approaches you and you are in a terrible mood, kindly smile and pretend that you are happy and listen to what they have to say. It’s possible that this person will help lighten your spirits and make your day a lot more pleasant. According to Psychology Today, smiling can actually improve your mind-set and inspire others to smile as well. I know that I appreciate it when someone smiles at me. It warms my heart and cools my temper when I’m not having a good day.  

Attempting to alter your state of mind to get you through the holidays can  have positive consequences. However, please do not get into the habit of suppressing negative feelings and anger as this can produce harmful effects. Habitually burying these feelings and avoiding them altogether can lead to serious health risks such as high blood pressure and heart disease. People with clinical depression should seek help and consider therapy with medication if your doctor deems it necessary.  Mental illness is not to something to mess around with and there is support for those in need.

Healthy Attitudes will Improve Relationships

As the end of the year is quickly approaching, there is a lot of focus on those dreaded resolutions of losing that excess fat that you accumulated over the last year. Whether you’ve gained six pounds or twenty, come January slimming down becomes an obsession. Sometimes the obsession is damaging physically and emotionally affecting you and your relationships.

First of all, let me make it clear that there is a difference from being health conscience and fixated on being skinny. Understanding your body and keeping cholesterol in check, sustaining the proper muscle mass, and fighting heart & bone decease are prudent as you age. Getting the proper nutrition and exercise are important and should be made routine in your life. Crash dieting and excessive exercise leads to poor choices at the dinner table sometimes with devastating consequences.  Young women in particular have image issues that result in unhealthy behavior such as drug use, broken relationships, and shortened life spans.

Eating healthy doesn’t mean that you can’t indulge and enjoy real food such as cheese, chocolate, or pasta. When it comes to heavy or fatty foods, keep in mind it’s about portion control and sticking with your exercise routine. (The importance here is routine) Besides, you can’t avoid cheesecake or ice-cream forever. What kind of life sad would that be?

Having a good attitude about one’s body image will benefit your physical and emotional health. Feeling good is the goal of a weight management plan. If you feel better most likely everyone around you will have a better attitude towards you, hence the relationships you engage in will blossom. This great attitude of yours may also improve your marriage.

Spend life living, not counting every single calorie that enters your body then running an extra two miles to burn them. This year instead of vowing to be skinnier, try pledging to yourself a happier healthier lifestyle. You will not be disappointed by those results. Most people won’t be judging you on your waist line anyway, and if they do maybe it’s not the weight you need to lose.

 

Things to do this weekend in Boise

With the holidays in high gear it’s easy to put your relationship on the back burner as you literally shop till you drop, get ready for that big work party, or plan attending the kids’ Christmas programs. In fact, most couples haven’t thought about a romantic evening in weeks because they have full schedules.

It’s important during these stress filled days to spend some quality time together and get away from the hustle and bustle. So why not make it a date night this next weekend? Get that babysitter scheduled, make some diner reservations at your favorite restaurant, and plan an evening of fun and romance.

Per www.boiseonlinemall.com/entertainment/ there are plenty of events going on in the area:

·        Winter Garden aGlow 2011-2012

December 2, 2011 – January 8, 2012

Open daily from 6:00 – 9:00 p.m.

Open Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day

·        Hell’s Belles (All Female Tribute to AC/DC)

December 16, 2011

Doors open at 7:30 p.m. / Show starts at 8:30 p.m.

Tickets: $13.00 - $30.00

·        It’s a Wonderful Life

NNU Little Theatre

December 16, 2011 7:30 p.m.

December 17, 2011 2:00 & 7:30 p.m.

Tickets: Adult w/fee $9.00

               Child $6.00

               At the door $12.00

·        Idaho Steelheads Hockey

December 21, 22, & 23 at 7:10 p.m.

December 30 & 31 at 7:10 p.m.

For ticketing information www.idahosteelheads.com/home.aspx

·       Thunder Mountain Line

North Pole Express

Christmas Party Dinner

Holiday Train

For information http://thundermountainline.com/NorthPoleExpress2011.html

These examples are just a slight few of what is going on out there and with so much to do in our area there really is no reason the two of you cannot take the time to enjoy one another. For any relationship the holidays can be a pressing time. Taking an evening to unwind and relax maybe just what you both need.      

Do not tell me I can't, I will show you I can

Today I was told that my aspirations of becoming a professional writer are nothing but a dream and if I chose to keep pursuing this as a career the caring of my children won't be proficient. And I shouldn’t have decided to marry a man with kids because my goals are far to time-consuming. As much of a slap in the face this was, it really shouldn’t have surprised or affected me as much as it did. Every author I have met all told me that no one will understand or support the crazy desires we have to be published. I’m not sure why I thought this did not apply to me, but this afternoon I learned the hard way that I am not immune to such harsh criticism. 

I've heard most of my life that I would never amount to anything because of where I come from and who I've been raised by. My own grandfather told my mother I would end up pregnant before I saw my senior year in high school therefore, I’d be a dropout. Most others figured I would end up just like her, lying and cheating my way through life. I proved them all wrong; not only did I not end up a pregnant teen, I graduated high school, and I am nothing like my mother. Although, I have to value the woman’s opinion of me because she is the only person who has ever told me that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to as long as I work hard for it and in no way let someone convince me that I can’t.

For years I supported others and stood for their success standing in the shadows waiting for my time. Well my time never came. It never came because I didn’t pursue any of the opportunities that were laid out before me. There’s a hard lesson that I have learned over the last twenty-five years, you are the only one who can set and reach your goals. Nothing is easy and you have to bust your butt to get things done because no one is going to care what you want to do with your life until you go against the grain. So what if others consider your ambition a pipe dream, success cannot be achieved if you never even try in the first place.

Love locked on a bridge

     Everlasting love. Everyone in the world at one point in their life believes they have acquired the power of true love, a seemingly unobtainable sentiment. For centuries men have killed for it and women have submitted to its command. The obsession humanity has for passion is so imperious it can cause man to become a saint or a fiend. Today it looks as if the world has once again united in the commonality of all civilizations; Love.

     Frederico Moccia an Italian author wrote I want you, a novel that has started a phenomenon throughout Europe as thousands of couples have engraved their names on locks and attach those locks to various structures around the world. The most famous is the Hohenzollernbruecke Bridge in Cologne, Germany. Lovers from everywhere fasten their “love lock” on the structure and toss the key into the water below hoping to seal their fate in trying to make certain their love will always endure.

     The mere suggestion to ones mate that they should acquire a “love lock” would be an act of devotion of its own accord. How could anyone not be moved by such a declaration of love? Romantic gestures are nothing new and have been an obsession since the dawn of time. Arthur and Guinevere, Romeo and Juliet, and Adam and Eve, truth or fiction these lovers’ tales have stood the test of time all in the name of love.  

     The emotion itself warms the soul even though the world is suffering such trying times, love still conquers all. In the midst of economic down turns on nearly every continent, violence rampant in many areas of the globe, and corruption at the highest levels; people are still discovering amazing ways to lift their spirits and bond.  

     Traveling halfway across the world to go to such extremes to profess your undying love for someone is the utmost romantic sentiment that’ll send even the coolest of heart into a euphoric state. And what a state it is. Without a care in the world, the overwhelming power of romance is the most wonderful feeling a person can experience.

      You might ask yourself, “Does this really keep couples together?” Probably not however, if a couple doesn’t get anything else out their relationship, they still have an awesome tale to tell about the time they took their love lock abroad with whom they believed was their soul mate. Now that is something to write about.