In Excile

Fooling all as I begat from the mother of lies, master at my deception until all collapses without forewarning.
Sinking so far I'm incapable of identifying normality again, yet desire courses through my veins like acid scorching what was once living.
Is it pain keeping me alive? No. It's a cruel joke that forces air into my lungs. A reflex that ought to be unnatural to the body, nonetheless alien to the mind delivering me into wickedness.
Or is this my descendent into madness? No answers for questions lost on deaf ears. My voice is silenced by my persuasion.
Attitude runs amuck then I'm chastised for it, saddened by consequence. Left with nothing, residing in isolation.
It hurts. The loneliness I'm exiled to, not understanding the why's. Still, here I am to dwell in solitude.
Again, antics flow like water and no one is wiser of the difference. As if anyone aspires as long as I have.
At hand lies the problem. Full refusal of all regulation as I wish not to be controlled, but long for love. Someone must exist whose up for the task. Thus far, paralyzed by fear because there is no such character.
And there it is. Simplicity at its best. Love won't intervene as I am no longer worthy of its possession.
Perhaps the amount acquired was my limit. Left broken with no hope of repair and not deserving of such.
Persecuted and bound in emptiness. Stranded in a moment of time, reaching for help with not another soul created for my salvation.
Trudging on while continuing to suffer since the better part of me died long ago leaving me forlorn with only bittersweet memories.

Contending to never surrender

In a world with so much chaos, can one obtain serenity? Having seen and heard the evil of all evils, then becoming powerless in its grasp. In earnest I stumble as I look for answers from questions that come out of nowhere while no one seems to care.
Begging for help, as I fall on my knees hoping there is mercy to be bestowed upon my readiness. There must be a way to restore the good that once graced this reality with a kind nature and encouraging ways. I refuse to believe that it is lost forever, as forever does not exist.

The essence of the human spirit is to prevail and continue on even when all is lost. But what to do when one is over come with sadness and is hard pressed up against the fervent brick wall that will not falter, even in the slightest? It traps you with its invisible hand as it paralyzes a person and tricks their mind into believing there is no alternative but the inevitable.

Woe after woe fills the air with its wretched affliction as evil persist and troubles anyone in its path. Like a tornado, it consumes and destroys leaving only the bad with little faith of the good. Presenting a false hope that humanity will band together to create a better world. In the event of such times, hope will not come about as it has been forgotten during the reconstruction of which will only be shadow of what once was.

What to do? What to do? A question in limbo that may never receive its well deserved answer. So I leave you with this my friend;
As evil consumes your very existence, are you throwing all down in defeat to go along with the crowd? Or, have you the courage to stand up and fight against the immoral atrocities that have taken possession of our very being.
Of course the world will heave you into its disposable pile, even if victory has landed in your lap. Does this pose a conundrum? I think not for the simple reason that your conscience will be clear because you’ve done your best to set things right.

Jayne's story

Not even once; Jayne's story

End the Cycle Now!

Domestic abuse is the leading cause of injury to women. The statistics listed below are mind-boggling and most who have never experienced such a heinous act are asking, “Why in the hell would anyone put up with that?” Believe me, every single woman who is assaulted has asked herself this question thousands of times. There is no answer. Call it brainwashing, stupidity, or naïvety. It is what it is; a crime that can be punishable with time in prison. 
I will run a series dedicated to saving woman and children from the violent hands of their offenders in an attempt to help them end the cycle of abuse. There are people out there willing to do anything to help you and your children.  
If you are in an abusive relationship go to http://www.thehotline.org/ or call a hotline NOW.

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224
• Crime Victims Hotline: 1-866-689-4357
• Rape & Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-212-227-3000
• TTD phone number for all hotlines: 1-866-604-5350

All studies, statistics, and information listed in End the Cycle NOW are found at the National Domestic Violence Hotline www.thehotline.org/  and the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health  website  www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/domesticviolence.html from reputable agencies such as the Mayo Clinic.  

• Every nine seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted or beaten by someone she knows and trust.
• Studies suggest that up to ten million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
• Every day in the United States, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
• Between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been abused never contacted help organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
• The costs of inmate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year.
• Men who as children witnessed their father’s violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than of sons of nonviolent parents.

Throughout this series you find information about many topics such as:

• What is abuse
• Help – financial, legal, community, counseling, and resources
• Education about the legal system
• Creating a safety plan
• Stories from domestic abuse survivors
• How you can help and become an advocate

Great Ideas for the Weekend

What to do, what to do?

That is the question on everyone’s mind about the upcoming weekend. Though we’re dead smack in the middle of winter, there is no lack of festivities to keep you entertained. From group activities to hanging solo, there is an answer to that dreadful question leaving no excuses for your state of boredom.


1) Super Bowl Sunday! Yes, that’s right I said it. Calling all sports fans; there is no reason you have to sit at home whining about having nothing to do this Sunday. If house parties are not your style, local papers, radio station websites, and many television ads offering many places to watch the big game. For more information about the Super Bowl: www.nfl.com


2) Since February is now known as the month of romance and Valentine’s Day falls on a Tuesday, couples may choose to celebrate the occasion instead of the date. And what better way to spend a weekend than at a chocolate festival! For event listings near you visit: www.chocolate-festival.org/MoreChocolateFestivals.html


3) If you are a busy body and lucky enough to have snow in your area, you can’t go wrong with winter activities such as sledding, skiing, snowboarding, or snowmobiling. A favorite of is to pack the kids in the car and drive up to them hills, have a snow ball fight, drop down and make snow angels, and then build a huge snowman.

*IMPORTANT*

- Check for avalanche warnings

- Tell someone where you are going to be

- abide by area rules 

My sons 1st concert!

4) Last but not least; www.eventful.com is a great resource to find out what is happening in your area. The website lists concerts, performing arts, movies, family activities, great places to eat, and nightlife.

For Your Valentine

It’s that time of year again! You know; the one day a year people are socially obligated to publicly express their undying devotion, or at the very least, display their art of affection one way or another.  Relationship or not, if you have connected even the slightest bit with another human being, you should have a plan for February 14^th. Especially if you’re male. (Sorry guys)

If you’re one of those who suffer from romantic difficulties and are not certain what type of arrangements to make for this occasion, fret no more. Listed below are Valentine’s Day ideas perfect for your special someone. Here are some suggestions for those of you who are not in a committed relationship:

1)      Candy! Nine times out of ten, the gift of chocolate is fail safe. This decadent treat is simple as it is sweet and takes very little effort on your part. Local grocers have a variety of assortments on display for this occasion. If you prefer to be a bit more profuse, you can plan ahead and order something on-line for example, from Hershey’s Website.

www.hersheys.com/celebrate/valentines/

2)      If candy isn’t her thing you can never go wrong with a bouquet of fresh flowers.  If you do choose to go this route, may I offer the advice of not purchasing these at your local grocer? Nothing says cheap skate like Wal-Mart flower arrangements that start dying before you get them in the vase. Yes, it cost more to buy flowers from a florist. However, later that evening she will make it worth your while. Flowers are either delivered by a florist or picked up and presented by the one and only you. There are also many websites that sell quality arrangements.

www.ftd.com

www.proflowers.com

www.1800flowers.com

3)      Awe, for young lovers that feel compelled to indulge their one true love…  Nothing is cuter than a stuffed animal, the bigger the better.  Simple enough to say “Hey! I genuinely care for you,” all the while not blowing off the most romantic day of the year. 

While these are great ideas for someone who is kind of or sort of dating, one needs to add a little something or other if you’re in a more serious relationship. With careful planning, these ideas are fool-proof for an amazing Valentine’s Day:

4)       Plan a romantic evening at home. Chocolate covered strawberries, champaign or wine, her favorite take out or make the most excellent dinner, and have a special gift for her such as earrings purchased from the local jeweler, not from the quickie mart.  For dinner, set the table with the good tableware and don’t forget the candles. Select music that you both find romantic and have it playing when she walks through the door. For an occasion such as this, flowers are a must. Go with red roses unless she has an absolute favorite that she’d prefer.

5)      Plan a romantic evening out on the town. This can be simple but nice, or elaborate with all the bells and whistles.  You know your partner so do what will please him or her. If simple is more your style, then by all means go for your favorite restaurant and a movie, or go for a drive up to the foothills and star gaze. Give an old school valentine with those heart candies that say be mine on them or one long stem red rose. For a more elegant Valentine’s Day one may start the day with breakfast in bed. In the afternoon; a beautiful floral delivery with chocolates, and a card that has detailed instructions for a scavenger hunt starting at a jewelry store, on to a lingerie shop, then a dress boutique for a new dress and shoes, and ending with a limo ride to that special restaurant.  Order for her, as a gentleman would, reach out to touch her hand, and make eye contact with a sweet smile when engaged in conversation with her. The point is to make the evening all about each other.

From cute cards, to expensive gifts, there is an endless supply of novelty items to choose from. No matter what you decide to do for your valentine, be sure it comes from the heart. There are a lot of options out there. Now all you have to do is decide on which one.

Decisions, decisions

 “Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”  ~ Thomas A. Edison

So often we all contend with the challenges of making decisions. Some are small while others are life changing and regardless of how those decisions influence our day-to-day routine it scares the hell out us. Change is a natural course in life. People’s reactions to change are irrational because most fear it since they do not want to fail or they do not understand why the change has occurred.  

You may have arrived at that those crossroads and perhaps you’re confronted with choosing to either keep going in the same direction, the easy route, or chose a different road and start a new chapter in life which could lead to failure.  Sometimes the kicker is that it’s not always your failure alone, to the same degree it could very well be your family’s burden to share as well. On the other hand, if it turns out that one is successful, your family will also reap the benefits. See the conundrum?

Weigh your options by making a pros and cons list. If the pros outweigh the cons consider the repercussions (either good or bad) of your decision and write those down. Then take a step back and contemplate the past and the challenges that you have overcome. That alone will compel you to believe that to try and fail is better than not trying at all.

I’m personally not afraid of failure. I believe that to grow into a mature person and become wise, we must fail at times. If you are unsuccessful now and then, you will learn to pick yourself up and try again, to conquer and persevere.   Now with that said, I’m terrified of the emotional impact my decisions might have on my children because if I fall on my hind end, I could very well bring them down with me. On the other hand, success would improve upon our lives dramatically.

What it all comes down to, if you are miserable where you’re at in life it’s time to make some changes. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” If you fall down, pick yourself back up and go on.  To be burdened with what if’s is all the more appalling than not making a daring attempt at something that could very well be rewarding.